In Self We Trust

I've talked about trust and faith here many times over the years. Trust grows from the word for tree - something that is firmly planted, deeply rooted, will bend in the winds of change and, if it is a strong trust, will not break ... easily.

Self-trust is where I find my deepest roots. We can know our strengths and our weaknesses - accept them all - and shape them into the best that we can be. I'll admit, I forget this foundational understanding too often. I look outside of myself for people and beliefs that I can trust. They always fall through - when I don't remember to start with trusting myself.

Trusting myself means that I pay attention to the signs and signals that I receive ... from my intuition, from my body, from my mind ... and those subtle signals and signs that I receive from others. It means paying attention ... and interpreting those signals as best I can.

So ... when my body over-reacts to my insulin - I need to pay attention and allow the communication to unfold so that I can decide what is best for me. And ... when someone make apparent overtures of friendship - yet offers subtle and not-so-subtle insults, I need to pay attention and allow myself to walk away. Not in anger, not in fear, not in resentment - but in trust that I am doing the best for myself - and so ... for the other as well.

Trust begins with the self, and then it flows outward to include others. I was talking with a friend recently about how difficult it can be to develop trust in the beloved - especially for us older folks who've loved and lost and are fearful of being hurt again. We agreed that its well worth allowing that trust to unfold over time. She is in a wonderful marriage with a decent, good-hearted, thoughtful man. We talked about their marriage, which began as a commitment, and has become a covenant.  Because they chose to trust ... and they chose to be trust-worthy.

We also talked about the importance of trusting the community to support the relationship and that commitment/covenant. It's something I've been thinking about recently, because I see, so often, that the community does not always support the trust that develops between two people. In our covetous, I-want-it-right now culture ... many people believe that if they meet someone they're attracted to ... it's okay to pursue a relationship. No matter what. No matter if that person is already in a new relationship or a long-term marriage. Rather than support that good that has been growing ... they come in with their storm of self-absorbed desire, and try to destroy that relationship so that can have it for themselves. Doesn't work that way, though.

If the roots of the relationship are deeply embedded in self-trust, and in trust of the other, that storm will be weathered - though some leaves and branches may break and fall. And, those of us who are not yet fully enlightened can hope that the lightening strikes at the rotten heart of that storm.